I’ve never been into woo-woo stuff. With the possible exception of astrology — I can’t help it, everything they say about Virgos applies to my personality — I have no interest in auras, angels or crystals as anything more than sparkly decorations. When it comes to solutions to problems, I like things that are backed by rigorous scientific research; results that can be duplicated, double-blind trials, the whole nine yards.

I like the scientific method and, for all its flaws, I trust Western medicine. But I do maintain an open mind. I think being open to new ideas and evidence is a vital part — perhaps even the most vital part — of using logic and science. Clinical Western medicine has thus far mostly failed to resolve my chronic localized low back pain, but I put off branching out for a while to alternative therapies. You know how a lot of people find modern medicine and doctor’s visits to be cold, clinical, data-driven and kind of impersonal? I actually like that. I find comfort in it. And I really don’t like being touched (thanks, autism!), so I’ve shied away from massage and the like.

My wife eventually managed to wear me down — uh, I mean, motivate me — to slowly creep out of my comfort zone and try some other treatments, which brought me to acupuncture. Acupuncture sits at the border of alternative and clinical medicine. There’s enough evidence for it that many insurances will pay for it in certain conditions. Even my Aetna coughed up a couple bucks, although nowhere near the price of the visit.

It’s one of those things where we know it works for some people for some things but we don’t know exactly why. The practice originated thousands of years ago in ancient China. My thinking was humans wouldn’t continue to do it for thousands of years if it didn’t work. The spiritual explanation behind acupuncture is that your life force, energy if you will, called your qi/chi, runs on lines called “meridians” on your body and that insertion of thin needles gets the qi back in proper alignment. The scientific explanation behind acupuncture’s efficacy is that when the body is injured in any way, endorphins rush to the site of injury for pain relief and the blood flow increases as part of the healing process.

I went to a practitioner in Bath for a few sessions. I picked the doctor mostly because she also went to Smith College like I did, so I knew at least the person sticking two dozen needles in my back had a verifiably quality education. It also made taking my clothes off for the treatments easier because at least I had a sort of connection with her, you know?

Between tattoos and vaccines I’ve had plenty of strangers stick me with needles, but not without my pants on. This doctor was fabulous. She answered all my dumb questions (and before you say there’s no such thing as a dumb question: there is), adapted my treatment plan to my sensory needs and made me feel at ease, which is a pretty tall order.

I wasn’t real worried about any potential pain because I was already in pain but the needle didn’t hurt at all. Most of them, especially where I have tougher skin, I didn’t feel at all. It’s just a little tap, and before I knew it I was porcupined up under a heat lamp like a little lizard. Even when she ran electricity through them with an electrostimulation machine, all I felt was a little buzz. The most uncomfortable part of the whole treatment was the harp music playing in the background. It wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I guess you can’t meditate to Cardi B.

The downside of this adventure is, there was no noticeable improvement to my back pain after six sessions. I guess I’m just one of those people who it just doesn’t work for and we don’t know why. I’m not writing it off as a failure, though. For one thing, having a solid hour a week where all I focused on was relaxing and my personal wellness was highly valuable and helped put me in better touch with my body.

While my back pain wasn’t fixed, lying on a full-body-sized heating pad under one of those warm red lizard lamps felt amazing. I’d buy one of those heated massage table toppers if it wouldn’t spell doom for my electric bill.

People keep telling me that stretching is good for the body. I think it’s also good for the mind.